What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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