At least make sure they are 18
Why
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
