I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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