I think im going to throw up on grandma
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
