wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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