direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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