I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize