Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
