Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
they need to just BURY HIM!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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