Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
