Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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