I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
