i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
