Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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