Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
