yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
