people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
