spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You dont lie about slip and slides
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
