Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
