the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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