nut hugger
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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