shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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