But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
