I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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