I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
