I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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