If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this will be a night to untag.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
