just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
