I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
