Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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