i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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