we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
