Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  ...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...

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  (503): ...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home... http://tfl.nu/g51m
  Replies (7) Good night (662) Bad night (1184)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.

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  (717): He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again. http://tfl.nu/x7y1
  Replies (66) Good night (2634) Bad night (1147)
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  (818): View more from California

  what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?

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  (818): what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/e114
  Replies (47) Good night (5723) Bad night (790)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now

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  (250): i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now http://tfl.nu/xz0v
  Replies (8) Good night (909) Bad night (3974)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.

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  (954): I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about. http://tfl.nu/gd5e
  Replies (43) Good night (1385) Bad night (9301)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.

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  (716): Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public. http://tfl.nu/lwyj
  Replies (16) Good night (1591) Bad night (3746)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.

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  (330): I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life. http://tfl.nu/ydnu
  Replies (5) Good night (1010) Bad night (3585)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.

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  (419): We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic. http://tfl.nu/lf87
  Replies (11) Good night (2442) Bad night (1820)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

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  (401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l
  Replies (11) Good night (1012) Bad night (2435)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  What are you doing and how can I add sex in there

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  (708): What are you doing and how can I add sex in there http://tfl.nu/rphe
  Replies (5) Good night (3113) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.

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  (720): Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver. http://tfl.nu/uanh
  Replies (4) Good night (2457) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese

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  (775): He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese http://tfl.nu/ug4c
  Replies (3) Good night (353) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.

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  (425): On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler. http://tfl.nu/m74v
  Replies (6) Good night (328) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome

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  (440): I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome http://tfl.nu/rv8w
  Replies (3) Good night (405) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly

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  (818): I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly http://tfl.nu/94xb
  Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (102)

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