i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet