Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!

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  (312): She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon! http://tfl.nu/58y3
  Replies (9) Good night (4128) Bad night (751)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?

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  (303): If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom? http://tfl.nu/ym23
  Replies (24) Good night (715) Bad night (4408)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate

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  (713): then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate http://tfl.nu/58hb
  Replies (32) Good night (6095) Bad night (1058)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.

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  (204): I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back. http://tfl.nu/sbtj
  Replies (7) Good night (728) Bad night (5321)
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  (559): View more from California

  I queefed so loud it echoed.

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  (559): I queefed so loud it echoed. http://tfl.nu/ujmt
  Replies (56) Good night (2024) Bad night (10908)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.

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  (781): picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already. http://tfl.nu/ugv0
  Replies (7) Good night (3790) Bad night (739)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over

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  (412): Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over http://tfl.nu/fq6e
  Replies (6) Good night (1020) Bad night (3391)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.

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  (503): we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food. http://tfl.nu/i6sw
  Replies (14) Good night (3864) Bad night (1877)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket

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  (217): 4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket http://tfl.nu/mc6u
  Replies (11) Good night (1945) Bad night (635)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?

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  (561): We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us? http://tfl.nu/dqdu
  Replies (12) Good night (3808) Bad night (583)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...

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  (203): Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked... http://tfl.nu/yapw
  Replies (3) Good night (1156) Bad night (688)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really

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  (315): Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really http://tfl.nu/gifi
  Replies (4) Good night (1720) Bad night (619)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.

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  (773): I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain. http://tfl.nu/ynjh
  Replies (0) Good night (779) Bad night (407)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.

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  (306): I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth. http://tfl.nu/zq9c
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (448)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.

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  (+61): Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me. http://tfl.nu/fsyn
  Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (203)

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