Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could

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(973): He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could http://tfl.nu/0a7l

Replies (36) Good night (11917) Bad night (850)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired

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(902): I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired http://tfl.nu/suui

Replies (19) Good night (3343) Bad night (937)
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(210): View more from Texas

Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously

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(210): Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously http://tfl.nu/22yg

Replies (21) Good night (2246) Bad night (4168)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.

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(715): Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar. http://tfl.nu/6xi2

Replies (1) Good night (3502) Bad night (936)
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(516): View more from New York

I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...

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(516): I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"... http://tfl.nu/s1bt

Replies (13) Good night (777) Bad night (4086)
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(720): View more from Colorado

At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course

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(720): At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course http://tfl.nu/67cn

Replies (25) Good night (5078) Bad night (1013)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.

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(218): I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care. http://tfl.nu/yew2

Replies (12) Good night (1041) Bad night (4755)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.

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(704): all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back. http://tfl.nu/s19b

Replies (9) Good night (3493) Bad night (845)
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(770): View more from Georgia

To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.

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(770): To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present. http://tfl.nu/n1ow

Replies (8) Good night (837) Bad night (2325)
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(407): View more from Florida

you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.

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(407): you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations. http://tfl.nu/xedp

Replies (15) Good night (2243) Bad night (939)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.

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(614): I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose. http://tfl.nu/hj91

Replies (23) Good night (777) Bad night (1951)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day

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(773): Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day http://tfl.nu/fpi9

Replies (5) Good night (763) Bad night (1448)
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(845): View more from New York

You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....

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(845): You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it.... http://tfl.nu/b7kr

Replies (0) Good night (583) Bad night (216)
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(917): View more from New York City

The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.

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(917): The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad. http://tfl.nu/oau9

Replies (7) Good night (340) Bad night (538)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"

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(978): maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk" http://tfl.nu/jf8r

Replies (4) Good night (259) Bad night (370)

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