Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

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  (406): I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea. http://tfl.nu/bq8d
  Replies (7) Good night (1776) Bad night (813)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent

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  (651): nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent http://tfl.nu/r5vc
  Replies (44) Good night (1429) Bad night (2710)
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  (661): View more from California

  Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.

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  (661): Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number. http://tfl.nu/0i40
  Replies (14) Good night (4370) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.

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  (904): 5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal. http://tfl.nu/ja8n
  Replies (25) Good night (3098) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (249) Good night (68041) Bad night (3575)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.

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  (630): a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning. http://tfl.nu/n5pe
  Replies (12) Good night (5319) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"

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  (217): Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet" http://tfl.nu/r96p
  Replies (3) Good night (2364) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wonder if you can snort coke upside down

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  (630): I wonder if you can snort coke upside down http://tfl.nu/eyfv
  Replies (20) Good night (1506) Bad night (3098)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome

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  (409): just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome http://tfl.nu/tb2u
  Replies (4) Good night (1623) Bad night (2323)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"

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  (732): The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out" http://tfl.nu/fcdr
  Replies (5) Good night (1171) Bad night (2129)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.

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  (601): I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/oz16
  Replies (1) Good night (1766) Bad night (982)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.

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  (513): I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate. http://tfl.nu/sg11
  Replies (4) Good night (886) Bad night (1882)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.

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  (708): My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with. http://tfl.nu/rm3v
  Replies (15) Good night (2447) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded

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  (904): I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded http://tfl.nu/240k
  Replies (9) Good night (5552) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"

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  (480): Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good" http://tfl.nu/cw6w
  Replies (6) Good night (1378) Bad night (953)

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