On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i think i just lost a toe
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