I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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