Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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