please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Even my vagina gasped.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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