so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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