and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
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Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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