Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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