I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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