The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
