you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
