This gyro tastes like lonliness
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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