I wanna bring you to show and tell
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
