I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
