I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
