can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
