this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We left an ass print on the piano.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am mentally ready for anal.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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