When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
