you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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