he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
