I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My balls are so social today.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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