Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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