did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
