We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
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I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
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my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
