She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
