I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Couch. On fire.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
