there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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