I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
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