Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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