Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Congratulations! We have a period
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
