I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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