My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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