i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
